Growing Up Without Getting Lost by Melissa Trevathan

Author:Melissa Trevathan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Array
Publisher: Zondervan

Healing your heart

Take another look at that quote at the beginning of the last chapter. It says, “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly.” That’s a pretty profound statement. Love helps us see the good in people, to see them the way God sees them—as unique creations who are worthy of great love.

Ignoring our hearts, seeking distractions, and blaming ourselves keep us from seeing “rightly.” We only see how we’ve been hurt. And even though those efforts to avoid dealing with our pain don’t work, we keep using them. We use more drugs. We blame ourselves with such conviction that we start to hurt ourselves. We lose the ability to trust other people, to risk real relationships. This is not seeing rightly. It’s more like seeing selfishly. It’s all about us and how others are, or are not, meeting our needs.

To see rightly is to see a bigger picture. It is to see that you are hurt—and that you hurt others. It is to see that even though your parents make mistakes, they aren’t out to get you. It is to see that your friends aren’t trying to hurt you but that they’re doing their best to navigate life—just like you. When you focus on how the people you love have failed you, you can only see how the people you love have failed you.

We’re not saying you should ignore the hurt. We’re saying you will feel it—and you will dish it out yourself from time to time. When you’re hurt, talk to someone you trust. Write in a journal. Paint. Play a musical instrument. Find outlets for your emotions that are productive rather than destructive. You are created for relationships—and that means you will experience all the highs and lows that come with them. Let those feelings out—the good ones and the not-so-good ones. When you work through those feelings with a friend or through art or music or writing, you’ll discover the kind of truth about yourself that is often found only in hard times.

You will be disappointed. You will be hurt and even betrayed at times. But like Mary, we girls run the risk of being stuck at the tomb, so caught up in our pain that we miss Jesus standing right beside us. With God’s help we can deal with our hurt in healthy, productive ways. We can repair damaged friendships, work though family struggles. We can keep our hearts open to the goodness of other people and experience the joy and beauty of deep, meaningful relationships.

In Luke’s Gospel, Jesus visits the home of two sisters, Mary and Martha. The women love Jesus and consider him their friend. They want to connect with him. So Martha gets busy. She cleans and prepares and cooks. You could even say she ignores and distracts. Mary, on the other hand, does something different. She sits down with Jesus and talks to him. She listens to him. She gives him her time and attention. Then Jesus says, “Martha, Martha,.

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